Relationship Deja Vu
Dear Broken Hearted Girl,
When you begin dating again after a break up, it's easy to fall into the same dating rut with a new person. This could be true because the individual you're dating is a mirror image of your ex. He may mirror your ex in looks and/or actions.
Be careful Broken Hearted Girl. If things start going down a path that you're very familiar with (the same path you went down with your ex), use your head and not your heart. Here are some things you can do to beat relationship deja vu.
Pay attention to your friends' and family's reactions to your new beau. If they advise you that he may not be good for you, don't be afraid to be analytical about it. As I usually advise in this situation, write in your journal - even if it's just a pro/con list. Love is blind, but you don't have to be. Your friends and family can be a great resource as "relationship barometers." They only want the best for you, so try to listen and keep an open mind.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Are you causing the problems in your new relationship? If so, what kind of work do you have to do in order to change your actions. Do you need to concentrate on yourself more? Does your entire world center around him? Do you smother him with emails and text messages? Think about how you can work through your own problems to make your relationship a better one.
Talk to him. If he's creating issues in your relationship, tell him. Try to keep an open mind and listen to him if he does open up. If he's having trouble opening up or addressing the issues, you may want to reconsider dating him. Communication is key in a relationship. If he can't communicate openly and honestly, then there may be nothing but trouble in your future.
Feel better!
-MJ
When you begin dating again after a break up, it's easy to fall into the same dating rut with a new person. This could be true because the individual you're dating is a mirror image of your ex. He may mirror your ex in looks and/or actions.
Be careful Broken Hearted Girl. If things start going down a path that you're very familiar with (the same path you went down with your ex), use your head and not your heart. Here are some things you can do to beat relationship deja vu.
Pay attention to your friends' and family's reactions to your new beau. If they advise you that he may not be good for you, don't be afraid to be analytical about it. As I usually advise in this situation, write in your journal - even if it's just a pro/con list. Love is blind, but you don't have to be. Your friends and family can be a great resource as "relationship barometers." They only want the best for you, so try to listen and keep an open mind.
Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Are you causing the problems in your new relationship? If so, what kind of work do you have to do in order to change your actions. Do you need to concentrate on yourself more? Does your entire world center around him? Do you smother him with emails and text messages? Think about how you can work through your own problems to make your relationship a better one.
Talk to him. If he's creating issues in your relationship, tell him. Try to keep an open mind and listen to him if he does open up. If he's having trouble opening up or addressing the issues, you may want to reconsider dating him. Communication is key in a relationship. If he can't communicate openly and honestly, then there may be nothing but trouble in your future.
Feel better!
-MJ
posted by MJ @ 10:54 AM
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