Find out his relationship vibe...
People say that when you start a new relationship, everything about him is available; his inclinations, his attitudes about life/politics/religion, his attitude toward you, etc., if you just pay attention to the signs. So how do you find out what his intentions are?
(1) Ask your friends to give their honest opinion of him. I've had new relationships with men I've really liked (except for one or two small things) and I have relied on my friends to help me evaluate. With some men, my friends picked up on a few things that I did not, because they are outside of the situation. ie) He cut me off a lot when I was telling a story, or he didn't seem to respect my opinions. Friends are a good barometer because all they want is for you to be happy.
(2) Ask him about past relationships when the time is right. A good question to start with is "When did your last relationship end..." Usually that question will open him up. He will probably tell you when it was, why it ended, and what he didn't like about her. Listen intently for clues as to how he treat women and as to what he might be looking for presently (make sure you're NOT a rebound!).
(3) After a few dates, just simply ask - do this BEFORE you sleep with him. If he's out for "nothing serious" and you're out for something SERIOUS, then don't let yourself get any more involved. The last thing you want to do is con yourself into believing that you can change him. I've tried it. It doesn't work.
When you're starting over with a new man, make sure to look for signs that he may not be right for you. And make sure to also look for signs that he MAY BE right for you. It's alright to be careful and not jump in to every relationship feet first. But as soon as you weigh the good with the bad and decide that he is a person to give your heart to, then by all means, give your heart to him. A relationship can't work unless your entire heart and being are present.
- M.J.
(1) Ask your friends to give their honest opinion of him. I've had new relationships with men I've really liked (except for one or two small things) and I have relied on my friends to help me evaluate. With some men, my friends picked up on a few things that I did not, because they are outside of the situation. ie) He cut me off a lot when I was telling a story, or he didn't seem to respect my opinions. Friends are a good barometer because all they want is for you to be happy.
(2) Ask him about past relationships when the time is right. A good question to start with is "When did your last relationship end..." Usually that question will open him up. He will probably tell you when it was, why it ended, and what he didn't like about her. Listen intently for clues as to how he treat women and as to what he might be looking for presently (make sure you're NOT a rebound!).
(3) After a few dates, just simply ask - do this BEFORE you sleep with him. If he's out for "nothing serious" and you're out for something SERIOUS, then don't let yourself get any more involved. The last thing you want to do is con yourself into believing that you can change him. I've tried it. It doesn't work.
When you're starting over with a new man, make sure to look for signs that he may not be right for you. And make sure to also look for signs that he MAY BE right for you. It's alright to be careful and not jump in to every relationship feet first. But as soon as you weigh the good with the bad and decide that he is a person to give your heart to, then by all means, give your heart to him. A relationship can't work unless your entire heart and being are present.
- M.J.
posted by MJ @ 10:55 AM
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