Who Gets The House?
Dear Broken Hearted Girl,
When my parents divorced, there were no questions surrounding the issues of property and custody. Mom got the house. Mom got the kids.
Dad had to pay alimony.
Now with the advent of such groups as DadsRights.org and DadsRightsCoalition.com, property and custody are taken into careful consideration for both parents — as they should be, and should always have been.
But whether a divorce is amicable or a knock-down, drag-out brawl, the fight for child custody is generally the first issue to be ruled upon. When a resolution is reached regarding custody, the secondary question now begs to be answered:
Who gets the house?
Consider the following:
(1) Who has primary custody of the children?
Divorce can be terribly traumatic for children, especially if they are school-aged. Consider their emotions. The change divorce causes can be extremely stressful and moving can intensify that stress. The less change a child has to suffer, the more likely he or she will adjust to the divorce in a healthy manner. It may prove wise to allow the primary caregiver to remain in the family home.
(2) Can you afford the home?
If alimony or palimony are not a part of the divorce settlement, then one must consider their ability to meet the cost of a mortgage payment. If you’re stretching your paycheck – even with alimony or palimony – then make a smart decision based on your budget.
(3) Do you have an emotional attachment to the home?
Of course, there’s going to be some emotional attachment to the home because it’s a place in which you and your spouse shared wonderful times. But, if the home belonged to your mother, father, aunt, brother, etc., before you and your spouse moved in, then that can compound your attachment. Consider an emotional attachment (for either you OR your spouse) before making a decision.
If an agreement cannot be reached regarding the home, consider selling it. It may be possible for the primary caregiver to move into a smaller abode without having to put the children into new schools.
Feel better!
-MJ
When my parents divorced, there were no questions surrounding the issues of property and custody. Mom got the house. Mom got the kids.
Dad had to pay alimony.
Now with the advent of such groups as DadsRights.org and DadsRightsCoalition.com, property and custody are taken into careful consideration for both parents — as they should be, and should always have been.
But whether a divorce is amicable or a knock-down, drag-out brawl, the fight for child custody is generally the first issue to be ruled upon. When a resolution is reached regarding custody, the secondary question now begs to be answered:
Who gets the house?
Consider the following:
(1) Who has primary custody of the children?
Divorce can be terribly traumatic for children, especially if they are school-aged. Consider their emotions. The change divorce causes can be extremely stressful and moving can intensify that stress. The less change a child has to suffer, the more likely he or she will adjust to the divorce in a healthy manner. It may prove wise to allow the primary caregiver to remain in the family home.
(2) Can you afford the home?
If alimony or palimony are not a part of the divorce settlement, then one must consider their ability to meet the cost of a mortgage payment. If you’re stretching your paycheck – even with alimony or palimony – then make a smart decision based on your budget.
(3) Do you have an emotional attachment to the home?
Of course, there’s going to be some emotional attachment to the home because it’s a place in which you and your spouse shared wonderful times. But, if the home belonged to your mother, father, aunt, brother, etc., before you and your spouse moved in, then that can compound your attachment. Consider an emotional attachment (for either you OR your spouse) before making a decision.
If an agreement cannot be reached regarding the home, consider selling it. It may be possible for the primary caregiver to move into a smaller abode without having to put the children into new schools.
Feel better!
-MJ
posted by MJ @ 9:36 AM
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