Do you Overreact to a Break Up?
Dear Broken Hearted Girl:
I found this article on Yahoo! today and immediately became perturbed. The article states that if you have been dating at least 2 months and break up within 6 months - 9 months, you are less likely to be devastated by a break up and more likely to overreact. Apparently, the angst you believe you will suffer is not as great as the angst you actually do suffer. I can believe that. If you've been dating someone for less than a year, then OF COURSE the angst you suffer is going to be less than that of someone that has been dating an individual OVER a year. Sheesh.
In addition, the article states:
"Not surprisingly, they found the more people were in love, the harder they took the breakup.
"People who are more in love really are a little more upset after a breakup, but their perceptions about how distraught they will be are dramatically overstated when compared to reality," Finkel said."
I believe that people do suffer a lot in their heads after a break up, however, I do think that the study is a completely skewed toward those who have not been in long-term relationships. You can be "in love" after a year, but imagine the devastation of a person's soul after 2 or 3 years of being in love? This study makes a blanket statement - that people overreact to their angst before experiencing it - based on a study of those engaged in "puppy love."
I believe the study would be more correct if it were opened to divorcees and those who have been in relationships over 5 years. Now THAT would be an interesting read.
Read it for yourself and feel free to post your opinions!
MJ
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Advice to the lovelorn: you will survive By Julie Steenhuysen
Mon Aug 20, 6:00 PM ET
CHICAGO (Reuters) - Despite the laments of pining pop stars and sad sack poets, U.S. researchers now think breaking up may not be so hard to do.
"We underestimate our ability to survive heartbreak," said Eli Finkel, an assistant professor of psychology at Northwestern University, whose study appears online in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
Finkel and colleague Paul Eastwick studied young lovers -- especially those who profess ardent affection -- to see if their predictions of devastation matched their actual angst when that love was lost.
"On average, people overestimate how distressed they will be following a breakup," Finkel said in a telephone interview.
The nine-month study involved college students who had been dating at least two months who filled out questionnaires every two weeks. They gathered data from 26 people -- 10 women and 16 men -- who broke up with their partners during the first six months of the study.
The participants' forecasts of distress two weeks before the breakup were compared to their actual experience as recorded over four different periods of time.
Not surprisingly, they found the more people were in love, the harder they took the breakup.
"People who are more in love really are a little more upset after a breakup, but their perceptions about how distraught they will be are dramatically overstated when compared to reality," Finkel said.
"At the end of the day it, it is just less bad than you thought."
I found this article on Yahoo! today and immediately became perturbed. The article states that if you have been dating at least 2 months and break up within 6 months - 9 months, you are less likely to be devastated by a break up and more likely to overreact. Apparently, the angst you believe you will suffer is not as great as the angst you actually do suffer. I can believe that. If you've been dating someone for less than a year, then OF COURSE the angst you suffer is going to be less than that of someone that has been dating an individual OVER a year. Sheesh.
In addition, the article states:
"Not surprisingly, they found the more people were in love, the harder they took the breakup.
"People who are more in love really are a little more upset after a breakup, but their perceptions about how distraught they will be are dramatically overstated when compared to reality," Finkel said."
I believe that people do suffer a lot in their heads after a break up, however, I do think that the study is a completely skewed toward those who have not been in long-term relationships. You can be "in love" after a year, but imagine the devastation of a person's soul after 2 or 3 years of being in love? This study makes a blanket statement - that people overreact to their angst before experiencing it - based on a study of those engaged in "puppy love."
I believe the study would be more correct if it were opened to divorcees and those who have been in relationships over 5 years. Now THAT would be an interesting read.
Read it for yourself and feel free to post your opinions!
MJ
________________________________
Advice to the lovelorn: you will survive By Julie Steenhuysen
Mon Aug 20, 6:00 PM ET
CHICAGO (Reuters) - Despite the laments of pining pop stars and sad sack poets, U.S. researchers now think breaking up may not be so hard to do.
"We underestimate our ability to survive heartbreak," said Eli Finkel, an assistant professor of psychology at Northwestern University, whose study appears online in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
Finkel and colleague Paul Eastwick studied young lovers -- especially those who profess ardent affection -- to see if their predictions of devastation matched their actual angst when that love was lost.
"On average, people overestimate how distressed they will be following a breakup," Finkel said in a telephone interview.
The nine-month study involved college students who had been dating at least two months who filled out questionnaires every two weeks. They gathered data from 26 people -- 10 women and 16 men -- who broke up with their partners during the first six months of the study.
The participants' forecasts of distress two weeks before the breakup were compared to their actual experience as recorded over four different periods of time.
Not surprisingly, they found the more people were in love, the harder they took the breakup.
"People who are more in love really are a little more upset after a breakup, but their perceptions about how distraught they will be are dramatically overstated when compared to reality," Finkel said.
"At the end of the day it, it is just less bad than you thought."
posted by MJ @ 9:36 AM
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