One step forward...two steps back!
Dear Broken Hearted Girl,
I was cruising a forum today when I read something interesting. A woman stated that "breaking up never happens in a straight line."
That one sentence gave me such a visual that I felt compelled to write about it.
Imagine a line. One one side there is the word "Break Up." Think of this as the start of a journey. In the middle there are blocks of time marked, Depression, Humiliation, Anger, No Contact (NC), Confrontation, Relationship Analysis (RA), Epiphany and Acceptance. On the other end of the line there is the word "Finish." Imagine a finish line with a big ribbon hung inbetween two sticks, just as you would see in a marathon.
B.U.--Depr--Humltn--Angr--N.C.--Cnfrnt--RA--Ephiph--Accpt-->FINISH!
Think about the blocks in the line. You can skip one step forward toward "No Contact", but then within a day or two, you might skip a few steps toward Humiliation (you sent him a sappy email that you now regret). Each block represents a step that one must survive in order to make it to the next block. Achieving the block's goals, you move on to the next in a forward march toward getting over him.
Along the way toward the "finish line" You'll dance around the line; you will even take some sideways steps completely off the line. Some of these sideways steps can happen when you find yourself in situations that you initially did not foresee. For example, you may see your ex and his new girlfriend while shopping at the grocery store. Suddenly you find yourself on a new block marked Jealousy. Jealousy was never one of your blocks on the line. The next thing you know you are on a new step completely off the line between Anger and No Contact.
B.U.--Depr--Humltn--Angr--N.C.--Cnfrnt--RA--Ephiph--Accpt-->FINISH!
.................................\......./.....................................
...............................JEALOUSY......................
It is your choice then whether to move forward from this unexpected block to push yourself through No Contact, or to move backward once again toward Anger.
Getting over someone is NOT a straight line. You will end up on and off the line in somewhat untimely intervals. The important thing to keep in mind is that moving forward is your goal. Getting to the finish line IS YOUR ULTIMATE SALVATION. Perhaps using this visualization will help you to get there more quickly.
Create a line of your own and diagram it in your journal Broken Hearted Girl. Customize the steps to reflect your own breakup stages.
Try to keep on the path as much as you can, but forgive yourself for the times you take steps backward on your way toward recovery & healing.
Once you get to the finish line, you can break through the ribbon with a triumphant scream of "I'm OVER you!" and begin your love life anew.
-MJ
I was cruising a forum today when I read something interesting. A woman stated that "breaking up never happens in a straight line."
That one sentence gave me such a visual that I felt compelled to write about it.
Imagine a line. One one side there is the word "Break Up." Think of this as the start of a journey. In the middle there are blocks of time marked, Depression, Humiliation, Anger, No Contact (NC), Confrontation, Relationship Analysis (RA), Epiphany and Acceptance. On the other end of the line there is the word "Finish." Imagine a finish line with a big ribbon hung inbetween two sticks, just as you would see in a marathon.
B.U.--Depr--Humltn--Angr--N.C.--Cnfrnt--RA--Ephiph--Accpt-->FINISH!
Think about the blocks in the line. You can skip one step forward toward "No Contact", but then within a day or two, you might skip a few steps toward Humiliation (you sent him a sappy email that you now regret). Each block represents a step that one must survive in order to make it to the next block. Achieving the block's goals, you move on to the next in a forward march toward getting over him.
Along the way toward the "finish line" You'll dance around the line; you will even take some sideways steps completely off the line. Some of these sideways steps can happen when you find yourself in situations that you initially did not foresee. For example, you may see your ex and his new girlfriend while shopping at the grocery store. Suddenly you find yourself on a new block marked Jealousy. Jealousy was never one of your blocks on the line. The next thing you know you are on a new step completely off the line between Anger and No Contact.
B.U.--Depr--Humltn--Angr--N.C.--Cnfrnt--RA--Ephiph--Accpt-->FINISH!
.................................\......./.....................................
...............................JEALOUSY......................
It is your choice then whether to move forward from this unexpected block to push yourself through No Contact, or to move backward once again toward Anger.
Getting over someone is NOT a straight line. You will end up on and off the line in somewhat untimely intervals. The important thing to keep in mind is that moving forward is your goal. Getting to the finish line IS YOUR ULTIMATE SALVATION. Perhaps using this visualization will help you to get there more quickly.
Create a line of your own and diagram it in your journal Broken Hearted Girl. Customize the steps to reflect your own breakup stages.
Try to keep on the path as much as you can, but forgive yourself for the times you take steps backward on your way toward recovery & healing.
Once you get to the finish line, you can break through the ribbon with a triumphant scream of "I'm OVER you!" and begin your love life anew.
-MJ
posted by MJ @ 7:49 AM
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